School is kicking my ass this quarter   and I am always tired from sitting in traffic so long. My hours at school have changed. I don't get out until 3:30 and by that time rush hour is just started   and it takes me forever to get home. I usually end up getting home at 5:30 with little or no gas left in the car after running the ac in the car that long and just sitting in stop and go traffic. It really sucks and really exhausts me completely. The heat   and the traffic suck. I can't wait for fucking summer to be over. I stay in a funky mood during most of the summer. This is a pattern I am recognizing about myself as I grow older and hopefully wiser.

Switching from Internet Explorer to Mozilla Firefox

Switching from Internet Explorer to Mozilla Firefox I have been using this browser off and on along with Microsofts Internet Explorer. Now with the growing issue of internet safety and security, I will be using Mozilla Firefox as my browser of choice for sensitive transactions like online shopping and banking. I think it's a great alternative to IE.

I heard this song and thought of a long lost love

I'm sittin' home on a cold day
Underneath the covers like a little baby
I think I wanna hear some Cold Play
Especially that song where the man says

Did I drive you away? I know what your sayin'
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)
Ooh, whoa, whoa
I know all about your ways

What you do when your gone
(What you do)
And I knew all along
And they say some people change
So I'll just turn and look the other way

I tried to be blind to your game
Deep down I knew you wouldn't stay around
Shoulda left your side in the first place
But I thought I'd be cool when you would play around
I tried to be blind to your game
Deep down I knew you wouldn't stay around
Should left your side in the first place
But I thought I'd be cool and you would wait around

All I can see is your old face
Giving my love away at some woman's place
Maybe I should I get up and go wash my face
Crying never kept you at home anyway

Did I drive you away? I know what your sayin
(I know I didn't but you said it)
Ooh, whoa, whoa
I know all about your ways

What you do when your gone
(What you doin' when your gone)
And I knew all along
(I know)
And they say some people change
(They say people change)
So I'll just turn and look the other way
(So I'll just turn and look the other way)

I tried to be blind to your game
(I tried to be blind yeah)
Deep down I knew you wouldn't stay around
(Deep down I knew)
Shoulda left your side in the first place
(Inside ooh whoa)
But I thought I'd be cool when you would play around
(I tried)
I tried to be blind to your game
(To be blind)
Deep down I knew you wouldn't stay around
(But I knew it)
Should left your side in the first place
(Ooh hoo oh)
But I thought I'd be cool and you would wait around

I noticed it, the calls you get
Leavin' the room and shit
And I knew you had a bitch
And I hated it, that's what I get
(I hated it)

I noticed it, the calls you get
Leavin' the room and shit
(And I know)
And I knew you had a bitch
And I hated it, that's what I get

(What you doin' to me baby?)
I tried to be blind to your game
Deep down I knew you wouldn't stay around
(Deep down)
Shoulda left your side in the first place
(Oh I shoulda left your side)
But I thought I'd be cool when you would play around

I tried to be blind to your game
(Yes I tried)
Deep down I knew you wouldn't stay around
(Ooh but I knew)
Should left your side in the first place
But I thought I'd be cool and you would wait around

I tried to be blind to your game
(I tried to be)
Deep down I knew you wouldn't stay around
(I tried to be)
Shoulda left your side in the first place
But I thought I'd be cool when you would play around
I tried to be blind to your game
(I tried)
Deep down I knew you wouldn't stay around
Should left your side in the first place
But I thought I'd be cool and you would wait around

Thought I'd be cool.....
Thought I'd be cool.......
Thought I'd be cool..


 

Pissy day

Another weekend is upon me. I stayed at home watching Stargate SG-1   and downloading the Linux OS   to put on a project computer I got from a good friend. The 659 MB download took forever even on my broadband connection. I also took the modem out of the project PC and installed a network interface card.  Needless to say, I didn't do much of anything else last night. This morning I went to my Dad's house to visit with him and install Linux on the PC. The installation of the Linux OS has proven to be more difficult than any installation of any version of Windows OS  . I have been working on this installation all day and keep running into problems  . What a pain in the ass. I hope al the aggravation is worth it when I finally do get Linux installed. 

Relief

I went to the Doctor   today, and feel much better than I have in the past two weeks. I ran out of xanax   two weeks ago and just abruptly stopped taking it. This was a bad idea because I have been on the medication continuously for 3 years. this past week has been a week of hell for me. I have learned my lesson and will never let my prescription run out. I also finally got some much needed sleep today  . The meds help me turn my mind off so that I can actually sleep for longer than an hour or two at a time. I forgot just how good it feels to get peaceful sleep. Soon I will be able to continue my social life instead of cutting myself off from the outside world.

 

Chinese Food

 

----- Original Message -----

From: Kelli Downing

To:

Today was a difficult day for me. I don't feel like writing alot today. I spent most of this evening hurling   after eating some Chinese food  . I will never eat at that place again. As soon as I took my last bite, I got sick  .

Rainy Sunday

Well today was a relaxation day for me. My Mom visited as usual and I enjoyed my time with my mother as always. It was so nice to see her. I love my Mom so much. She is the most wonderful individual that I have ever known. I have always aspired to be more like her. She is compassionate and very loving. I have never had any reason to doubt my mother's love for me as her child. She is incredible and quite and exceptional woman. Well, enough about my love for my Mom. I had an irritating call from someone that I had sexual relations with many years ago. He called me and started to talk about how much he wanted to get with me and what he wanted to do to me. I sat there for a lack of anything better to do, listening to what he had to say while thinking to myself "who the hell does he think he is!" I have evolved so much since the days of being a silly young girl that wold just fall for any stupid line that any asshole could come up with to make me feel good....what an idiot he is. He obviously hasn't grown or changed a bit. What the fuck did I ever see in that braindead redneck asshole?...... Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Ick

This morning was particularly difficult for me. After a night of tossing and turning with no sleep. I started to feel really nauseated. I was ill for a couple of hours before I hurled. That was really gross, but at least I was able to get to sleep for a couple of hours after that. I have been getting an upset tummy more and more lately and I guess it is a result of some unresolved issues that have been on my mind, like worrying about money while I am in school and relationship issues. Since the doctors can't find anything physically wrong with me, it must be my mind telling me to deal with these issues and not put them on the back burner.

cherokee in denim 

First entry

This is my first post to this blog . I hope I can keep it going instead of getting too busy with school to make an entry. Right now I am listening to new mp3 tracks by one of my favorite DJ's....DJ GT. His tracks can be found at http://generationtrance.com/ . Well, it's late and I neet to get to bed before I turn into a pumpkin. Sweet dreams.