Relief

I went to the Doctor   today, and feel much better than I have in the past two weeks. I ran out of xanax   two weeks ago and just abruptly stopped taking it. This was a bad idea because I have been on the medication continuously for 3 years. this past week has been a week of hell for me. I have learned my lesson and will never let my prescription run out. I also finally got some much needed sleep today  . The meds help me turn my mind off so that I can actually sleep for longer than an hour or two at a time. I forgot just how good it feels to get peaceful sleep. Soon I will be able to continue my social life instead of cutting myself off from the outside world.

 

Chinese Food

 

----- Original Message -----

From: Kelli Downing

To:

Today was a difficult day for me. I don't feel like writing alot today. I spent most of this evening hurling   after eating some Chinese food  . I will never eat at that place again. As soon as I took my last bite, I got sick  .

Rainy Sunday

Well today was a relaxation day for me. My Mom visited as usual and I enjoyed my time with my mother as always. It was so nice to see her. I love my Mom so much. She is the most wonderful individual that I have ever known. I have always aspired to be more like her. She is compassionate and very loving. I have never had any reason to doubt my mother's love for me as her child. She is incredible and quite and exceptional woman. Well, enough about my love for my Mom. I had an irritating call from someone that I had sexual relations with many years ago. He called me and started to talk about how much he wanted to get with me and what he wanted to do to me. I sat there for a lack of anything better to do, listening to what he had to say while thinking to myself "who the hell does he think he is!" I have evolved so much since the days of being a silly young girl that wold just fall for any stupid line that any asshole could come up with to make me feel good....what an idiot he is. He obviously hasn't grown or changed a bit. What the fuck did I ever see in that braindead redneck asshole?...... Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Ick

This morning was particularly difficult for me. After a night of tossing and turning with no sleep. I started to feel really nauseated. I was ill for a couple of hours before I hurled. That was really gross, but at least I was able to get to sleep for a couple of hours after that. I have been getting an upset tummy more and more lately and I guess it is a result of some unresolved issues that have been on my mind, like worrying about money while I am in school and relationship issues. Since the doctors can't find anything physically wrong with me, it must be my mind telling me to deal with these issues and not put them on the back burner.

cherokee in denim 

First entry

This is my first post to this blog . I hope I can keep it going instead of getting too busy with school to make an entry. Right now I am listening to new mp3 tracks by one of my favorite DJ's....DJ GT. His tracks can be found at http://generationtrance.com/ . Well, it's late and I neet to get to bed before I turn into a pumpkin. Sweet dreams.