Holiday Hell

Current mood: exhausted Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Working retail during the holidays can really suck the life right out of you very quickly. My kitty's expression says it all.

Currently listening : Wintersong By Sarah McLachlan Release date: 17 October, 2006

More lost loves

My past is littered with lost loves that haunt me from time to time. It's funny how I only think about it when I can't sleep at night. I guess in my frantic pace, that's the only time I actually slow down long enough for my thoughts to catch up with me.

Where have you been, My long lost friend? It's good to see you again. Come and sit for a while I've missed your smile. Today the past is goodbye. Time can't erase A lover's embrace. Can't you hear it calling? A new day dawning You were longing to find. Love's taken you far Away from my heart, And I've been here all alone. Have your eyes failed to find What took you from mine, A vision that's faded through time? But you sailed away, A fine summer's day, Cause you heard it calling, A new day dawning, You were longing to find.

Currently listening : The Open Door By Evanescence Release date: 03 October, 2006

Teardrop

Love, love is a verb Love is a doing word Fearless on my breath Gentle impulsion Shakes and makes me lighter Fearless on my breath Teardrop on the fire Fearless on my breath Night night of the day Black flowers blossom Fearless on my breath Black flowers blossom Fearless on my breath Teardrop on the fire Fearless on my breath Water is my eye Most faithful mirror Fearless on my breath Teardrop on the fire Of a confession Fearless on my breath Most faithful mirror Fearless on my breath Teardrop on the fire Fearless on my breath You're stumbling a little You're stumbling a little Currently listening : Mezzanine By Massive Attack Release date: 12 May, 1998

An old flame

Thursday, August 24, 2006

An old flame Current mood: confused Category: Life I just got a call today from an old flame that I used to date. We have kept in contact with each other through email every now and then, but he called me today and we talked for a while. I am thinking about going to see him today and that is a little scary for me because we haven't seen each other in close to 9 years. We were a knockout couple in bed, the sex was incredible, but our relationship tended to be more on the stormy side. I got a little nervous while talking on the phone with him today and I can't quite figure out why. Could he have possibly stirred something in me that I had buried deep within. For so long I have remained calm cool and collected as far as matters of the heart go. I guess you could say that I have become somewhat of an ice princess for a while, in control of and detatched from my emotions towards my potential partners. I guess it was a defense mechanism that I developed after having my heart broken one too many times. I guess this particular ex of mine made me remeber a time when I was young, fresh and full of optimism and before I became somewhat jaded. I guess what I am trying to say is that I fear a face to face meeting might break my resolve and I might cave into the desires of the flesh that I have been abstaining from.

Pins and Needles

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Pins and needles Current mood: calm Category: Life I have been on pins and needles since Friday, because I had an Hiv test done during my semi-annual checkup. I got the results today and they were negative, thank God. That waiting period before getting your results back is hell. It almost has me wanting to abstain from sex at all especially if I am going to have to go through the same hell of waiting on test results every six months. Your mind can really put you in a state of panic while waiting for test results. Right now I am euphoric with relief and peace of mind. Currently listening : X&Y By Coldplay Release date: 07 June, 2005

Exile

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Exile Current mood: contemplative I have been in my own personal exile lately. I haven't been out to see any of my friends or been out at all except for my mom's house, school or work. I hope I am not slipping into a deep dark depression. Currently listening : This Way By Jewel Release date: 13 November, 2001

part of a scene from Grey'a Anatomy that had me sobbing like a baby

Windows computers

I want to kick my windows machine out the window. It is only a few years old and it's just been a crappy machine from day one. Never buy an emachines refurbished computer, they suck. My Mac mini is so much more stable. I never get a blue screen of death and it never just spontaneously reboots on me like my windows machine does. Other than that major irritation, I am just sitting at home goofing off. The price of gas is so high, who can afford to drive anywhere.

I have become so picky, I am afraid of ending up like the crazy cat lady.

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Talking Cats

My new favorite commercial

Sunday

Today the rain finally stopped and the sun came out, it was a beautiful day. I went to Mom's house for dinner this afternoon and stuffed myself. After leaving there I came home and took a nap with my kitty kat nicknamed Beebee. It was a pretty uneventful,but enjoyable day.

Cold Rain

I hate cold rainy days like today. It's been raining off and on all week this week. It's very depressing. All I want to do is stay in bed and watch tv with my cat.

Bode Miller

My most recent celebrity crush is on Bode Miller. He is really quite a hottie. During the opening ceremony pre-show I couldn't take my eyes off him during his interview. Wow, what a heart throb.

problem fixed

Problem fixed, my blog entries are showing up now.

Entries not showing up

For some reason my new posts aren't showing up in my blog with my other entries.

Depression

I have been suffering from seasonal depression since late October. I can't seem to break out of it and I can't tolerate the side effects of any of the meds I have tried. I just wish that this depression would end, so that I may resume an active life again instead of staying in bed.